As seen on David Letterman last night!
10. Pinched themselves to make sure they were not dreaming
9. Make sure they get the same umpires for the rest of the year
8. Bought Rick Hazel a baseball rulebook
7. Nailed the Budweiser clydesdales
6. Got hookers
5. Checked into getting a better team name
4. Picked up 2 OTHER pitchers that throw 85 miles per hour and have 6 dominating pitches
3. Spoke to Phil Knight about NIKE merchandising deal
2. Hid all urine samples
And the Number 1 thing done by the Goats after their first Victory is....
Just got trashed on some Scarbados beer
Congratulations to the GOATS for their first(and hopefully not last) win in the SABL. Rumour has it that Larry King will be interviewing some of the GOAT players on CNN later this week. Chris Patience will be on Letterman doing the "Top 10 things the GOATS did after winning their first SABL game". Stay tuned for updates.
Dragons:
Grade of A
Record of (12-3-1)
The Rhodes scholars of the class this year. Adam Johnston has been seen many times shining up the teacher’s apples prior to class. Talented, determined and hated is a tough combination to beat. Injuries may play a factor on the chances of the Dragons to capture their first SABL championship. All teams want to avoid them until the finals.
Royals:
Grade of B+
Record of (10-4-1)
The defending champions still look mighty tough, but maybe not as hungry this year as in previous semesters. Have the best defence in the league. That alone almost guarantees the Royals a place in the semi-finals this year. Like the Dragons everyone wants to avoid them until the championship.
Psychos :
The Psychos have been rejuvenated this year and off to a strong start. Will this translate into a championship run with their beefy 11 man lineup?….only time will tell. Early season pickup of Soohan Singh has certainly given the team a lift, even though Soolate is seen most times sauntering in from the parking lot well after the start of class.
Red Sox:
Grade of B-
Record of(7-6-1)
Red Sox are in the middle of the class this year and are awaiting another strong finish as they did in 2009. No Travis Young, but have picked up a young ex-pro in Mitchell Potek has left Texas to lead the second half charge. Remember the Alamo?
Astros:
Record of (6-6-0)
The Astros are another team that sits in the middle of the classroom and could move to the back with the partiers or make another charge to the smart kids at the front. Pitching depth is not what it used to be but they Astros still know how to win the big game. Just ask the Reds!
Reds:
Grade of C+
Record of (6-7-0)
A change in leadership may or may not take the Reds over the hump to the front of the class this year. New young blood from Yankee High has improved the hitting and the turnout. Now all the Reds have to do is play all their makeup games Civic Weekend, and they have a chance of doing some damage in the playoffs.
Mets:
Grade of C
Record of (7-9-1)
The Mets have at times shown the ability to be sitting beside the teacher and polishing apples. Other times they seem to be in Spanish Harlem. Somewhere in between is the real team. They have a chance of getting out of the elimination games if they just win 7 more games. Then who knows?
White Sox:
Record of (6-8-3)
Rich Singh has again spun some magic to make this team very competitive. Privately he would rather be smoking weed at the back of the class but this is not about him. The Sox don’t look pretty all the time, but they seem to win some games and give the kids at the front of the class a scare every now and then. Nobody really thought they could be as good as they were last year, but they are close.
Jays:
Grade of C-
Record of (4-10-0)
Losing a couple of good pitchers has made it tough for the Jays to put together a decent winning streak this season. That being said, nobody really wants them in the playoffs either. They scare you just enough to want to avoid them C- or not.
Greatest of all Time:
Grade of F
Record(0-11-2)
“Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio, The Goats turn their lonely eyes to you.” The immortal words of Paul Simon could not have said it better if you are a Goat.
The Greatest have been having a tough go of things their first year in the SABL. But this has not diminished their enthusiasm for the game as most nights they have 14 players lining their bench. It may be a few years before this young squad is competitive but they have the time. For now they will have to be content scaring teams with the thought of giving up their first win to the GOATS.